I dropped by the feed store yesterday to fetch home some deer corn, (it being the cheapest source I can find for making corn mash likker.)<\/p>\n
Edwin Black handed me a cigar and asked me if I\u2019ll vote for him in the coming election as a state rep. Now, I have to say that kinda startled me, since Edwin\u2019s been hatin\u2019 politicians for years, calling them everything but white and saying he\u2019d never vote again.<\/p>\n
Ah took his cigar, (and an extra for the wife \u2013 hey, she\u2019s old enough to vote, just barely), before asking him what\u2019s going on? He explained with some enthusiasm that he\u2019d had a vision, like in a dream, and that God had told him to run for state rep. Well, that\u2019s pretty hard to argue with, so I asked him to tell me more. (I was just grateful it was his dream and not mine!)<\/p>\n
He said, \u201cYou know how I used to say I won\u2019t vote again until there\u2019s a Confederate flag over the state capital?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYup.\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, it come to me, all of a sudden, that if me and forty other fellers of like mine were to git elected to the legislature, then when the idee comes around to a bill of secession, we might kin pass it.\u201d<\/p>\n
I was stunned. I knew Edwin hadn\u2019t taken an oath of allegiance to the Yankee flag since he\u2019d graduated from high school. (That was a couple of years after he got out of the army.) I asked him, \u201cEdwin, don\u2019t they still require you to take an oath of allegiance to that flag?\u201d<\/p>\n
He laughed, \u201cYeah, but that\u2019s not a problem any more. I was talkin to my cousin, LeeRoy, and he said it all depends on what \u2018is\u2019 actually \u2018is\u2019. I don\u2019t quite understand that, but he told me it\u2019s a quote from a famous Southern president. He said it means that words mean what you want\u2019em to mean, and if you swear loyalty to a Republic that no longer exists, but MIGHT exist if you get elected and we secede, then that\u2019s what it means.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd you think you\u2019ll win by campaigning on a promise to secede from the union?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHeck, no,\u201d he laughed. \u201cMy momma didn\u2019t raise no fool. I\u2019ll win on a platform of givin\u2019 more benefits to every voter than my opponent. Nobody expects a politician to tell the truth anyway, so there\u2019ll be no surprises there. But once I\u2019m elected, it\u2019ll be fun to sit there and listen to them metrosexual city legislators propose more controls over us dumb farmers, and then vote no on every bill that comes down the pike. That is, until one of us introduces a bill to nullify some Yankee law, or when there\u2019s enough of us, to withdraw from the Union.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut Edwin,\u201d I protested, \u201ceverybody in this county already knows you won\u2019t join the Tea Party because they\u2019re too liberal for you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know,\u201d he said, \u201cbut the people in the other counties don\u2019t, and in that one big city I\u2019m gonna campaign as a liberal democrat and promise more welfare that LBJ ever dreamed of!. \u201cIt\u2019s a dual campaign, really. My theme everywhere will be, \u2018Takin\u2019 Care of Home Folks.\u2019 In the city that will mean free fried chicken or catfish, cell phones and likker every Saturday night, if they vote for me and I win. Small price to pay, once the lobbyists start comin\u2019 around.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd locally?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s the same theme, but hereabouts Ah\u2019m promisin\u2019 a free sack of laying pellets (or deer corn!) to all my customers, IF AH WIN. And Ah think Ah\u2019m gonna be a shoe-in.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, well Edwin, you told me to not vote any more, so I\u2019m not voting.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHa!\u201d He laughed, handed me a voter registration card, and said, \u201cYou are now, my boy, and just remember \u2013 if at first you don\u2019t secede, try, try again!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut, what about all them guns and ammo we been stashing in the barn for the Third American Revolution?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMight not need\u2019em, but this way we\u2019ll be keeping all our options open, Bubba! Meanwhile, fastest way to get there is to recapture the state house so we can speed this process up.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe still holding target practices?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cKinda,\u201d smiled Bubba, \u201conly now they\u2019re gonna be turkey shoots around the district, every Saturday until the election.\u201d<\/p>\n
I got my corn and as I shook hands and told Edwin I would vote for him, he snagged both cigars out of my pocket and said, \u201cAh already got your vote. Ah\u2019m gonna need these for the low-information-voters. Thanks, Pal!\u201d<\/p>\n
If he wants me to put a sign up in my yard, I\u2019m gonna ask for my cigars back. And if the next legislature introduces a bill of secession, I\u2019ve no doubt my friend, Edwin, will be there to support it. Won\u2019t the governor be surprised?<\/p>\n
Anyway, like they say, when it comes to politics, things are not always as they seem.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I dropped by the feed store yesterday to fetch home some deer corn, (it being the cheapest source I can find for making corn mash likker.) Edwin Black handed me a cigar and asked me if I\u2019ll vote for him in the coming election as a state rep. Now, I have to say that kinda […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-bubba-sez"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p5oOJg-d","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bubbasmith.us\/bubba\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bubbasmith.us\/bubba\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bubbasmith.us\/bubba\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bubbasmith.us\/bubba\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bubbasmith.us\/bubba\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/bubbasmith.us\/bubba\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14,"href":"https:\/\/bubbasmith.us\/bubba\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13\/revisions\/14"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bubbasmith.us\/bubba\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bubbasmith.us\/bubba\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bubbasmith.us\/bubba\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}