One little virus
Has seemed to inspire us
To put our lives upon hold.

We’ve lost our jobs,
We can’t pay our bills
For our own good, so we’re told.

With no work to go to,
And no one to pay us,
Our economy is going to fold.

That welfare check
Doesn’t go very far,
Our credit cards stretched untold.

More people will die,
And freedom besides,
A bill of goods we’ve been sold.

So when my favorite wife left me on this “trial separation”, or rather, this necessary separation that has turned into a trial, we both knew it was necessary for her to take care of family matters.

I was kinda lookin’ forward to it. The silence was golden. Well, up until it was time to eat. That’s when the muttering began. By the third day I was talking to myself, and I must say, found my own company and discourse quite companionable. I can be pretty funny at times, (but I try not to laugh out loud – that would be immodest.)

By the fifth day I was beginning to find my own voice grating on my nerves, and my jokes were no longer funny.

By the sixth day I was going morose. Not talking much, more back to muttering. And when I did mutter something trivial, my reaction was to just say, “SHUT UP!”

Yesterday I was mad enough at the chickens I threatened to shoot one of them to make the rest behave. (It’s a darn good think I’m not going to a shrink right now – they would take away my guns for sure.) (more…)

So the Conroe Independent School District (CISD) wants me to vote YES, and sign a promissory note for a debt burden of $807,000,000?  That I have to pay of with a huge increase in my property taxes?  That will cost me and the taxpayers $1.3 BILLION in interest alone, over the next 20 years?

Well, I was gonna vote NO, but then I found out that $23 MILLION is to go for Astro-Turf for football fields, I just knew I had to vote YES!  C’mon, people, don’t you want stadiums and football teams our student body can be proud of?  What is your problem?

And another $24 MILLION for “safety and security” – even though they admit they don’t know how or where they will spend it yet – it’s just a wish list – I mean, OMG!  If it saves the life of just one child, we have to have it, right?  What are you, some kind of a terrorist?  You want our children to die?

I didn’t see how much of a raise our Superintendent would get, but I hope it’s a big one.  After all, he’s worked so hard to get the district into more debt than any other school district in Texas, and he’s not through yet!  Just you wait!

Oh, I know, it’s against the law for schools to campaign or lobby or be advocates for any election, but CISD has always done it, so we have precedent, right?

They already employ the largest voting bloc in the district, and if they can sucker the parents into voting YES, then that’s a whole lot slicker than using a gun, you have to admit.  Just use the power of the courts and constabulary and the Tax Appraisal District to redistribute the wealth for them!

Okay, so your property taxes are going up 61%.  What are you complaining about?  Don’t you know that “taxes are the price we pay for living in a FREE society?”  What kind of a maroon are you, anyway?

The next thing I expect to be hearing is that you expect students know how to read and write when they graduate, and “know stuff.”  Some people would complain if you hung’em with a new rope.

Just vote YES, and we’ll find out what’s in it, all in due time.  If you don’t like it, you can always move somewhere else.  Good golly, Miss Molly.

Peace, and all that,

Bubba

PS.  House for sale by owner.  I can’t afford a realtor.

Y’all wanna learn how to play golf?  How about you wanna teach a young man to play golf?

Driving ranges are okay, but they cost a lot of money, and they only give you an hour or so of practice for $10 to $20 each time.  That’s no way to do it.

Start here.

Buy a sling-blade weed-cutter for a one-time expense of $20 (or $5 in a garage sale), and put that kid to work up until he can use if for eight hours a day (give him a break for lunch).

He’ll build up his muscles for the swinging, he’ll learn to control his swing, and he will never be intimidated by any club in the bag.  He’ll drive farther, he’ll pitch, chip and dink better, and he’ll be cleaning up someone’s yard (or farm), all at the same time.

And some day you’ll be famous, when they ask him where he learned to swing a club like that. (more…)

Do y’all know the story about the Boll Weevil and the Bean Weevil? In the Kingdom of the Insects, once upon a time, (and this happened in Texas, I’m told), there was an election held to see which bug could be the Insect King of Texas. The grasshoppers had a big following, as did the crickets. But the Boll Weevils in West Texas – Cotton Country, even though they were small in size, numbered in the many millions, and they knew they had a clear majority. What they didn’t realize was that the Bean Weevils knew parliamentary procedure and had studied Robert’s Rules of Order. When the dust settled, and the primaries were all over, the general election came down to those two cousins. The Boll Weevils knew they could win a general election against any other group. But what they didn’t know (once again) was that the grasshoppers and the crickets and the mosquitos were all convinced that the only way to stop the Boll Weevils was to vote for the Lesser of Two Weevils, and that’s how the Bean Weevils won that election.