About Naming Dogs

You shouldn’t oughta name a dog with a human name.  It not only gives the dogs pretensions, it causes people to think they are almost human.  Contrary to Politically Correct thinking these days, dogs are animals, and while I know some people who claim that, “My dog is just like our children,” I’m not buyin’ it.  (Unless of course, there’s sumpthin’ wrong with yore kids.)

We once had a neighbor, this was a long time ago, whose name was Butch.  Problem was, his dog’s name was Randy.  I would wave at him when he came or went, but could never remember in time which name to call him.  “Now, let’s see, if that’s Randy, then the dog is…, no, the dog Randy.”  By the time I figured it out, he was around the corner.

So anyway, this friend of my most recent wife found out we needed a dog to bark at the coons and possums at night, around the hen house.  This was recent-like.  They were moving out west, needed a home for their dog.  I asked’em what kind it was, and he said, “It’s a black and white Labrador.”  Uh-huh.  Whatever.  It’s a mongrel, probably part Lab.  But she had a human name when she got here.  I’m not gonna tell you what it was, because it was embarrassing, and because I’ve already deliberately forgotten it.  I named her Chicago.  I suppose you think you know where she came from now, don’t you?  Well, she had four white socks, and it was one of those names that just came natcherl like.  When we took her to the vet, we put her name down as “Chicago”.  So that’s her name now.  We call her “Sox” for short.  Please don’t call her “Socks”!!  It confuses her.  We call her “S-O-X”!  She’s from Houston – did I mention that?  But she’s already somewhat psikotic and has poor self-esteem, so we didn’t want to make it any worse by naming her “Astro”.

Now this is a true story.  A few years back, when circumstances dictated that I live in a small town (which was still preferable to a big city!), we had a flock of chickens in a pen at the back of our city lot.  The pen was a bit flimsy, and I’m not exaggerating to say the chicken shed was probably over 100 years old.

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