Recent History Reviewed

Ah wuz mindin’ mah own biznes, t’uther day, sittin’ on the porch, a’swattin’ flies and drinkin’ peppermint tea (slightly amended), scratchin’ the dog’s head now and then when she put it in my lap (she’s always lookin’ for cornbread crumbs), and lettin’ mah mind wander in the late afternoon sun.

Thankin’ back over the past few years, I settled into a reverie of the toomultoous events, and how thangs had changed.  Twoudn’t none of us believed it, if you’da told us it was gonna turn out that way.

We were havin’ the normal protests by all sides of the political spektrum, which weren’t all that unusual.  But all of a sudden, three thangs happened the same week.

First, the Chinese called in their debts and so crippled the US dollar that our economy collapsed, the stock market was shut down until further notice, and all the banks were closed.  Those who got their life savings out of banks, soon found that the only thing those pieces of green paper were good for was startin’ fires.  Of course, the Chinese economy, and ever other country collapsed at the same time.

The next thang wss the riots, and they were everwhere.  They started as food riots in the cities, since most people didn’t have a week’s worth of food stored in their pantries.  But those riots became race riots in the cities, and suddenly there were two hundred or more race wars ragin’ in nearly every major city in America.  It was a three-way war, and nobody was safe.  Martial law was swift, and while often inadequate, restored order to most of the cities, with remainin’ hot zones where nobody ventured.  People demanded martial law, and they got it.  It wasn’t always pretty, and books will be written on that subject.

The government was frantic.  Everbody who was anybody headed to Washington to confer on what to do next.

An’ then the third thang happened, which wuz that somebody celebrated the 4th of July, while most of the guvmint leaders were conferring over the crisis, by popping off a nuclear firecracker in Lafayette Park, right across the street from 1600 Avenue K – the White House, for those of you who went to guvmint skools.  They called it a “suitcase bomb”, whatever the heck that is.  And we may never know who dunnit.

Them were the three big thangs that changed the world, not just our country.  It took about 48 hours to figure out who the president was gonna be, since so much of the line of succession wuz fairly well distributed across the District of Columbia (in small pieces).  An’ that’s how the junior congressman from Tennessee, the Honorable Stonewall Forrest, became the President of the United States.  If he hadn’t been a-speakin’ at a Civil War Reenactment, he would never have been president.  (I’ll bet there’s a lesson to be learned in there somewhere.)

Anyhow, they picked him up in a helicopter and got him to a military base and he set up shop from there.  Seems the Pentagon and Congress had disappeared in the same display of fireworks, along with Congress and the Lincoln Museum, (so it weren’t all bad).  How many suitcases?  We’ll never know.  Nobody has time to visit that zone, until it quits glowing in the dark.

President Forrest wanted to know who dunnit, and his Intel told him it could have been the Russians, it could have been the Chinese, it could have been the Muzzies.  So, being a man of action, he went ahead and had Moscow, Beijing and Mecca erased from the face of the earth, just for starters.  A couple of generals objected on the grounds that it might start a war.  President Forrest laughed so hard he couldn’t breathe, then reduced them in rank to second lieutenants and sent them to Laredo, Texas.  (He’d spent a month there, one weekend, and it was the worst he could think of in a pinch.)  It was amazin’ how cooperative the military became after that.

He then sent a message, another one, to Russia and China, offering peace.  Of course they didn’t trust him, but the remnants of their government were willing to accept a tenuous peace, if it really meant no more strikes from outer space.  Immediately, the world calmed down.  They trembled, but they stopped their petty wars and waited to see what would happen next.

To stabilize the economy, President Forrest had his new Secretary of Labor, Pancho Rodriguez, call up the leading ten manufacturing companies and ask their CEO’s if they would cooperate with the government and continue to operate on the credit of the new government.  All ten said no.  The next morning all ten were arrested, and three days later they were executed on public television.  All manufacturing companies outdid one another to keep their production flowing.

The burning question was how a company could pay its employees.  “It’s simple,” said the president.  “You figure out what your products are worth, starting with what they were worth when this all started.  You produce a widget worth a dollar (your wholesale price before the Collapse) and you write out deposit slip for one dollar, and you take it to your bank, which WILL accept it.  You pay your employees from bank notes from that local bank.  This is an interim solution.  If no one buys widgets, then you will have to make something someone wants, or you will shut’er down.  If there’s a huge demand for widgets, then you may allow your price to reach its level, as determined by Supply and Demand.”

It was the President’s opinion that our wealth exists in our ability to produce things that we need, or want, and are willing to pay for.  As expected, for example, gun manufacturers began to thrive in most States.  A handgun which would have sold for $500 in FRN’s¹ before the collapse, sold for $1,000 in Temporary Credits, but it worked.  They were also sold for two and one half ounces of silver, or a tenth of an ounce of gold.  Silver dimes were trading across the counter for $20 to $40 each.

The riots ended fairly quickly.  Hot zones were fenced off and no one was allowed in, including food supplies.  Soup lines were established on the perimeters.  People who wanted to eat came out and signed a form in order to get food.  Families had to come together, and they signed affidavits to that effect.  Within a week, as names were screened, all those with outstanding warrants were arrested and put into “temporary detention” until their cases could be sorted out.  Those who were able bodied were given jobs working for the reactivated and temporary Civilian Conservation Corps.  They received food and lodging and bright uniforms, and nothing else, including no liquor and no tobacco.  Families were relocated to FEMA camps where their plight awaited their own decisions.

The president being a States Rights advocate, he made it clear to the States that there would be no more federal money coming to their states in the immediate future, and maybe forever.  Those that wished to continue with their social welfare systems were at liberty to do so, from State funds.  How they did it was up to each State.

New York and California were quick to announce that the State would feed the poor, no matter what.  Immediately the country experienced mass migration.  Those who didn’t want to live in FEMA camps immediately signed up for the free buses to take them to the new Welfare States.  The moved a million people in the first two weeks.

But the buses didn’t come back empty – people willing to work rode them to the non-welfare states, as quickly as they could get there.  Companies suddenly disappeared overnight in those states, and popped up in other states.

Farmers and ranchers were kings.  They were protected by martial law where necessary, and they delivered their products to brokers in the cities, for hard metal only.  They needed cheap labor, and labor was cheap.  In fact, it was almost free the first year, but workers (and their children) did not go hungry.  Gradually they began to earn a little cash by teaching their children to tend gardens on the side.  Fresh vegetables brought unheard of prices in the cities, which were facing starvation.  Lawns turned into gardens overnight, and within the first year there was so much production from home gardens that the Hungry Year passed and did not return.

Wetbacks on welfare disappeared as soon as the welfare ended.  Some went to the Welfare states, but most went home, deporting themselves.  But those willing to work hard found jobs, at lower pay than ever before, when a man would work all day for one or two silver dimes.

At the end of a year, President Stonewall Forrest declared that martial law would be lifted with elections in the fall.  First, he announced that the previous government was now considered dissolved, and if any State wanted to join the new government, they would first join a Regional Government.  (But if any State wanted to go it alone, they were welcome to do so.)  He also declared that the new government would operate under the previous Constitution, as presented in 1787, but could be amended by the States, each within their Region first.

Senators would be chosen by the States once again, readmitting the States as partners in the national government.  IRS was abolished, as was all federal taxation except imports and duties of 25% on all goods imported into the country, later to be reduced to 15%.   Those duties could be paid for in hard goods, which was then sold through retail channels.

By the end of that first year, the government was minting silver and gold coins, and they fetched a huge price, based upon market demand.  It also issued credits in gold and silver to companies that were producing, sort of a reverse taxation, in order to stimulate the circulation of money.  Fractional Reserve Banking was outlawed.  The Federal Reserve Bank was dissolved, and the bankers had warrants for their arrest issued.  Most disappeared long before the knock on the door.

Private mints sprang up, mostly honest, and after one execution of a dishonest mint owner, they were very accurate in their weights and their purity.  Jewelry almost disappeared as people sold it to the mints in exchange for coins.

The new government would have one rule that was considered inviolable.  There would be no deficit spending at the national level.  Any deficit would be paid for by the States, or they would receive no federal funds until they paid their bill.  With the Senators representing the States, it was immediately apparent that no more bills to spend more than the government had in the bank was going to be possible.  This mean the budget was balanced within a year.  The national debt was suspended, with a view to repudiating it later.  This also meant about 95% of all government employees were rendered “redundant”, and had to find jobs producing something.  Most of them learned to garden really well within the year.

Anyhow, I was so enjoyin’ this time of reminiscence that you kin well imagine how perturbed I wuz when jumped up as a hornet buzzed that durned dog, and she knocked my feet off the stump, and spilt the last of my tea.  That woke me plumb up, and my wife’ll tell you I was in a surly mood the rest of the day.  You’d think a fellow could have enjoyable dreams and not wake up so aggravated.